Friday, September 24, 2010

Dancing Queen

I have been working out with Turbofire (think kickboxing meets dance) and have been I loving it. But everyone needs a break. So when my friend asked me to go to Zumba with her, I accepted, excited about the change of pace. I walked in and felt the music pulsing through my body. I love this already. The class starts and we are instantly moving and shaking our moneymakers. With each step I feel lighter, younger, and vibrant. As I move through each combo I imagine myself as Jennifer Beals in Flashdance, complete with the headband and tight buttocks. Sweating with enthusiasm, I am one chain and water bucket away from recreating the "She's a Maniac" video. I am twisting my hips, turning light on my heels, and doing the Rumba like I am auditioning for the lead role in "Dirty Dancing 2- Havana Nights." I am one with the music, lost in my own Awesomeness.

And then I look in the mirror.


Rather than Jennifer Beals staring back at me, I was faced with a Nikki Blonsky (from Hairspray) silhouette complete with wiggles and jiggles, and not the kind that are featured in the latest T-Pain video. When I shimmy-ed my leg, a ripple started at my knee and rolled its way up to my ass causing the lower half of my body to be a half second slower than the top part. And when she ordered us to "wave our hands in the air", mine waved hello back to me in the mirror. Had I seen this in my 20's, I would have ran out of there in humiliation vowing only to eat celery until I looked like Britney Spears in her "Slave" days. But now I have entered my 30's and you know what? I don't give a damn. I just looked at my Tracy Turnblad reflection and laughed. Because as long as these hips can shake, I'm gonna shake'em... cause my hips don't lie.

Me, as I see myself in my head.

Me, in real life.


  1. You're gonna be a famous writer one of these days...I just know it! I have laughed my BIG A** reading this!!!! So funny!! DHardin in Sav.

  2. So you know...your lovely cousin and my lovely wife, Leslie, loves Zumba so much that she is getting Zumba certified on Nov 13th...I cannot imagine what that is going to mean for me. --David

  3. I'm pretty sure you looked nothing like Nikki Blonsky. Either way - next time we'll stand in the back. "Get down hit the flo..."

  4. OH.MY.GOSH! So funny. You are great. You need to write a book...please.

  5. Instead of doing my chemistry, I'm sitting here reading your blog to my roommates. They're hilarious!