Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Day 38: Take this Cake and Shove it.

What happens when you consume sodium-infused starches 3 nights in a row? Very Bad Things.
I am in California for work so I have had no choice but to eat carb-a-licious dinners every night (it's a tough job) while coming back to lie spread-eagle on my bed, unable to bend my torso from all the bloating. But do not lose hope my dear followers, because I have been getting up at 5:30am every morning (WHAT?!?!?) for my workout in order to combat the Carb Carnival that I have been riding. I am more motivated than ever when it comes to my workouts and have been making the decision every day to complete my work out, even when I don't feel like it. And although my usual pattern is to give up within 4 days (6 days is my record) when I am not seeing results, I am making a point to celebrate every discipline that I am developing, while believing that it will payoff.

Now I need to harness this food thing, which I have found has more of a hold on me than I originally gave it credit for. In digging into my past to figure out when this started, I had a memory come to mind. My 5th grade teacher used to bake a cake for the class every Friday (damn you, Mrs. Smith!) and I always got a little more excited than every other kid in the class. Ok, this is an understatement. While the other kids were playing games, I would dream of Fridays and anticipate what cake she would bake this week. Would it be chocolate? Or the yellow cake with the white icing? I would count down the days until she would walk in holding that glorious sugar mound. And then I would casually find ways to pass by it, circling it like a vulture, until she told us we could have a piece. I was a 10-year old sugar addict! So now, while continuing on this journey, I will uncover what I am really trying to feed in order to free myself from the "cake" that has been weighing me down all my life. This is my change. And that change feels pretty powerful.

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